How it Works

Every family is different, and the process is flexible. As a general framework, clients can expect:

STEP 1

Get in touch for a free 15 minute initial discussion.

STEP 2

Each party attends an hour long confidential assessment meeting alone with the mediator. This gives each party a chance to discuss their situation and whether or not mediation is the right option for them.

STEP 3

Both parties attend an initial one hour joint session focussed on agenda setting and information gathering.

STEP 4

Both parties attend 90 minute joint sessions (together or in separate spaces) aimed at understanding each other’s perspectives, identifying ways forward and reality-testing proposals.

STEP 5

The mediator documents your agreed proposals by preparing a Memorandum of Understanding (Summary of Proposals) and/or Parenting Plan. These are not legally binding documents but can be brought to your solicitors to complete the legal formalities.

The choice between mediating together or in separate spaces depends on the specific circumstances of the conflict, the nature of the relationship between the parties involved, and their comfort levels. Mediating together can enhance understanding and communication and be more transparent and efficient. Mediating in separate spaces (shuttle mediation) can reduce tensions, balance power dynamics and create a safer space for people to speak openly and honestly.

Often, a combination of both methods can be effective. For example, starting with separate spaces to allow each party to express their concerns freely, and then moving to a joint session if and when they are ready for direct communication. The key is to remain flexible and responsive to the needs of the parties involved.

While it is not essential, it can be very helpful if both parties have the benefit of solicitors. Mediators cannot provide legal advice, so clients are encouraged to take legal advice from solicitors before and during the mediation process. This assists clients in negotiating confidently and understanding if proposals are within the parameters of what a court might order. Solicitors will also be needed to convert any proposals into a consent order to put before the court.

Third party advisors, such as pension experts, financial advisors, parenting coaches, family therapists, neutral legal evaluation etc can provide invaluable assistance to the mediation process. Expert information can really move disagreement forward and is almost always worth the investment.

Patricia works with separating and divorcing families to support them in moving successfully through conflict and transition.

Mediation must be safe for everyone involved. The issue of abuse is discussed with each party in confidence during the separate initial meetings and kept under review throughout the mediation process. Clients can always discuss any concerns they have and efforts can be made to tailor the process so that everyone feels safe. That said, even if the parties wish to mediate, the final decision on whether it is safe to do so rests with the mediator.

Patricia works with separating and divorcing families to support them in moving successfully through conflict and transition.

Following separation couples often find communication extremely difficult. Mediators are trained to use techniques that assist people to listen to each other, not speak over each other and try to understand each other’s perspective. It is also always possible to mediate in separate spaces.

However, mediation can only accomplish so much. If parties remain unwilling to negotiate, listen to each other calmly and see things from each other’s perspective, then mediation may well break down.

Patricia works with separating and divorcing families to support them in moving successfully through conflict and transition.

No. Mediation is a voluntary process and both parties must be willing to participate and the mediator has to agree that it is suitable. Either or both parties can also end mediation at any point in the process. That said, the family courts do expect couples to at least attempt mediation if it is safe to do so.

Patricia works with separating and divorcing families to support them in moving successfully through conflict and transition.